Welcome all my Wednesday favorites! It's gloomy over here on the east coast, so what better way than to create a fun prompt to lighten the day. If you haven't checked it out yet, visit my BIRTHDAY POST
Prompt Thirty-Six- Living Heart
This prompt will vary between people. Your job: Write about a heart that won't quit. (it's from creativewritingprompts.com) It's up for interpretation, so take a literal approach or something more figurative approach.
My response...
Love. I hate it with the deepest form of hate. I know what people say...love is the same as hate and it really bugs me because what I feel is not love. It may have been at one point but not anymore. Not after all the breaking and beating I went through. Not after he ruined our forever kind of love.
The back of the taxi is worn, with leather beaten seats, cracking after countless butt imprints. The driver smells of musty smoke, a hint of weed and some body odor. But it's just a quick ride before I'm jumping out, handing him a twenty and stopping in front of my favorite place on earth.
I haven't been here in two months. His fault. It was our place. We met her, dated here countless times and I even worked here one summer when I was low on cash and laid off. This small coffee shop holds my most fond memories. And unfortunately, now it's tainted.
"Kenny." My heart literally stutters in my chest, stopping and starting within a second. I gasp at his domineering presence, the heat of him hitting me in pulsing ripples. For just a moment, half a second, I let myself be taken over by my senses. The sharp pine and must of his cologne, the subtle hint of plain soap, the evergreen in his toothpaste.
But then I erect the highest, thickest wall and face him.
"Hi Mark," I say, faking a smile. Despite my best efforts, the corner of his mouth tilts up just slightly. My stomach rolls with desire.
"Want to go sit?" he asks, waving out his hand as he grabs the door for the both of us. I used to love this. I loved the princess treatment, I loved the caring nature of him. But it's fake. It's a front. Deep down he's heartless, careless, selfish.
I nod and walk past him. Bill waves to me from behind the cherry red counter and back in the kitchen, I can picture Lynn cooking up her afternoon meals. I used to love it here. And now it kills me just to step foot in the place.
I contemplate sitting in our old spot. It's right next to the large picture window and gives a perfect view for people watching. But I refrain. As sad as this sounds, I don't want our spot ruined. I like the memories there. I liked it being ours when we were happy. I don't want to sit there again.
Mark frowns at me, his heavy eyebrows creasing just above the ridge of his nose. He's beautiful, simply put. But he's like a lion. Pretty to look at, interesting and majestic, but at the same time, dangerous. You don't tame a lion and that's something I just recently learned about Mark.
"I want to get back together," he says, dropping an atomic bomb on me. At first I just stare at him, wondering what the hell he's thinking. He ended things with me, he broke my heart, he started dating some bimbo and now he wants to get back together. I call bullshit.
"Why?" I ask back.
"I love you, Kenny. I always have. But you know how much commitment scares me. One second we were dating and the next I basically lived at your place. I got scared shitless and the only thing I could think of was run."
"You know, it's funny. I thought I knew you. I thought you knew me. Clearly not. I would never rush you into anything. You were sleeping at my house. It's not like I was making you spend your time with me. You wanted to, so you did." I shake my head and look down at my trembling hands.
"That's the problem, Ken. I loved you too much. I was scared you didn't love me as much back." His grey eyes meet mine with tears filling them. I've never seen him emotional, but just because he's tearing up doesn't mean he's changed. People don't change.
"But you never spoke to me about it!" I cut him off, anger boiling within me. "Listen, what's done is done. You ruined me. You left me with no explanation and then I have my sister telling me your sleeping with some girl in her class. You did this and there's no way you can fix it."
"You don't love me anymore?" I look up to him and our eyes clash, holding one another in a solid lock. He's begging me with his expression, begging me with everything he has. But I don't know if I can ever trust him again. I don't know if I can ever forgive him for ditching me.
"Mark, I'll always love you. But at the same time, I hate you. I hate what you did to us. I hate what you did to me. I feel like you played me, tricked me into loving you. If I took you back, I'd be the biggest idiot. I just can't do it, despite what my heart is telling me." I start to stand up from the small table, but Mark grabs onto my forearm and refuses to let go.
"You're a liar."
"Excuse me?" I ask back, trying to regain control of my arm.
"You always told me to think with my heart, not my head. You told me people who were too caught up in their head were boring and emotionless. You always tried to pull me out of my head. Now look at you."
"Clearly thinking with your heart only gets you hurt. Hearts are overrated and so is love," I say and then walk away from the one person I think I truly do love.
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